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Christadelphian Plays Minecraft Survival Mode, Looks Forward To Creative Mode

This week we bring you the adventures of Eve, a young Christadelphian who just recently started playing Minecraft, and who appears to have some rather unusual beliefs about the game.

Eve claims she is actually the second person ever to play Minecraft, despite having only downloaded the game last week. She claims her friend Adam was the first, even though Adam had downloaded the game only a few hours earlier, on the same day. According to Eve, both of them accidentally started in survival mode, and she laments now being forced to spend her time farming, and mining for resources, while avoiding monsters - an ever present reminder of their mortality.

Many players have attempted to show Eve and her friend the large body of evidence showing that people have been playing the game for several years, but they simply refuse to acknowledge it, and instead they keep quoting from a book in their Minecraft inventory, which they claim was originally written by Herobrine.

Not all players believe in the existence of Herobrine, but Eve and Adam both insist they regularly communicate with him through telepathy, although they admit they haven't actually seen him. They describe him as a powerful yet loving and benevolent figure, despite the many horrific stories told about him in which entire villages were slaughtered at his command.

Eve tells of Herobrine's call to remain separate from the other villagers, and of the promise of many rewards if they obey this and other commands written in their book. These commands include having no other heroes besides Herobrine, abstaining from all forms of PvP (killing other players, stealing their inventory etc), sacrificing chickens, and above all, belief in and worship of this one particular zombie called "Jeeves", or something.

Although neither Eve nor Adam has seen Jeeves personally, their book recounts stories of a few other players who have. Rumour has it that Jeeves was once a normal player like them, but was chosen by Herobrine to carry out a special mission. Some claim they once saw him push some poor village's pigs off a cliff, which earned him the nickname, "pig man". Apparently Jeeves also went around telling people about being chosen by Herobrine, and some of the admins thought he was trying to take over so they soft-banned him and sent him to the nether. However, just 3 days later a few players said they saw this zombie pigman come out of the nether portal and they told everyone Jeeves was back again, although a few of his former friends didn't seem to recognise him at first. Shortly after this, Jeeves disappeared and has not been seen by anyone since, except in visions and dreams.

Eve then told us of her hope that one day "soon" Jeeves would respawn and build the best castle anyone has ever built in Minecraft (although we thought her "artist renditions" were rather disappointing). He would then overthrow the admins and become OP, before setting the difficulty to peaceful. This would give him access to the /kill command which he would use against anyone who stood in his way. Those who firmly believed in Jeeves would then be granted access to gamemode 1, otherwise known as Creative Mode.

As we go to press, a band of Christadelphian players were seen wielding torches and weapons and quoting Exodus 22:18.

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