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Jesus Disfellowshipped For Refusing To Wear A Suit

It's official. Several sources have confirmed that Jesus Christ was recently disfellowshipped from the Christadelphian community after refusing to wear a suit and tie to the memorial meeting.

The following notice will be printed in the upcoming edition of the Grampstand Magazine:

"We regret to announce that after several discussions and much prayerful consideration, we have decided to withdraw fellowship from brother Jesus Christ. The clothes we wear show forth the level of respect we have for our heavenly father and unfortunately Jesus was not willing to cooperate with our repeated requests that he wear appropriate attire to the memorial meetings.

We require all brethren, and especially serving brethren, to please wear an appropriate formal suit and tie to all memorial meetings and mid-week Bible classes. It has sadly become fashionable in this day and age to let the dress standards slip within our community and we see the signs of worldly influence growing, particularly among our young people. Having to deal with a defiant display of cross-dressing in our midst has made the last few months a stressful time for all of the ABs at our meeting.

We are reminded that Deut 22:5 clearly tells us that "the woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God".

Jesus repeatedly violated this very clear commandment from our God in choosing to wear a woman's garment to the memorial meeting, and it is for this reason we have had to withdraw fellowship. We hope and pray that Jesus will reconsider his actions and return to God with all his heart."

We have been informed that a collection bag will be passed around this coming Sunday for Jesus to buy a new business suit and tie, and also some proper shoes as well.

Not all Christadelphians are sad about the events, however. One AB we interviewed said he wished it had been done much sooner.

"Jesus has been a continual thorn in our side", he said.
"He rocked up every Sunday dressed like he was going to the market and several of our young people were starting to follow his example. To make matters worse, he also refused to speak in 16th century English!"

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